I Just Had Sex (Part 1)

(00:00) It's the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast. [music] >> I'm the guy with technical issues today. >> Well, I'm still going to start talking. >> Oh, [ __ ] >> In this light >> Fine. >> with his facial hair, Yorm kind of looks like um >> A handsome guy. >> What's the old Knicks player? Like the all-time great Knicks player? >> Walt Frazier? >> Yes, he looks like Walt Frazier.
(00:18) >> look like Walt Frazier. >> Screen grab Walt Frazier Yorm, cuz I think people are going to think this is a crazy thing to say. Wait, don't change your look though, Yorm. I'll >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> No, the way you No, no, no, go back to how you were. >> You [ __ ] it up, you [ __ ] blew it. >> You have to be back-lit.
(00:33) You were so back-lit that it was not clear you were a white person. >> Look at your screen, don't look at us. Look >> I'm try Oh, I'm doing it, Keith. >> looking at your computer the way you were doing it. >> Well, I don't know what I was doing. >> yeah, right there, right there, that's close. >> Stay there. >> But don't be looking at us and smiling.
(00:46) >> Yeah, look down and smile. What does he look like? >> Like the way Walt Frazier would look. >> of looks does he do? Look to the who? >> You were focused on something. Look down where you were focused. >> Stop trying to be a part of it and just be it. >> no, you >> Is that good? Am I doing it? >> [clears throat] >> I don't know.
(01:00) >> It was almost gold. >> Okay, next up. >> It's whatever you were focusing on, Yorm. You were looking down, focusing on something. >> Hey, uh next person audition for the Walt Frazier biopic. We got Yorm at the podium. [laughter] >> Hey, love your work, Yorm. Love Gin Blossoms. >> Hey, I'm going to I'm going to hit a a two-point I'm just going to go.
(01:16) >> [laughter] >> You did [snorts] write uh height on your resume, Annie. >> And it's clear now that that's not >> I got to say, guys, I'm [ __ ] shrinking like like Lincoln, if they you know what I'm talking about. >> Oh. >> I'm not shrinking. >> Hey, all right, real quick, since we talked about Knicks >> two of the shock jocks were in New York City last night.
(01:33) How loud did it get? >> Yorm, you go first cuz I have a I have a small tail. >> Dude, we immediately, the moment they won, our friend Josh was over. I woke up my son for the fourth quarter, who was asleep, and then we hopped in the van, the Dwagon, and [laughter] drove drove up to Smith Street, which was popping off.
(01:51) It's probably I don't know, 400 to 1,000 people. I'm not good with numbers. And the police were out in force because they had been shut down the week before by the commissioner of New York. So there was just lines of police officers and then we went around and just slap five with just a wonderful amount of people and I I >> to drive a vehicle that's like begging to get set on fire.
(02:11) >> It could have been tipped over with us in it very easily. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> It's almost like I feel like someone's like, "We got to be better than this. We can't set a taxi on fire." And then the Dwagon pulls up and they're like, "Oh, that we can do." >> Well, here's the thing. I kept screaming, "Don't light the Dwagon on fire.
(02:28) " [laughter] So that helps. I do think that helps. >> The Dwagon is kind of riot nip. >> Yeah, it is riot. >> [laughter] >> It feels like the Dwagon is full of people who care not for the fortunes of the Knicks. >> That's why I brought my son [laughter] cuz I was like, "They're not going to kill a kid, you know." >> So he was a shield.
(02:44) >> Oh, you brought your kid as a human shield. >> Oh, 100%. I kept I kept holding him up. "Don't burn the Dwagon. Don't burn the >> He's like, "Look, he's a little guy." >> Look at him. He's just LIKE THIS LITTLE DWAGON. >> IT'S NOT MINE. IT IS. >> Want to burn two little guys. They wouldn't let an adult drive this.
(02:59) >> [laughter] >> Quinn sent in a lot of other names for the Dwagon, which we will get to. >> Okay. >> It's going to be hard to beat the Dwagon. >> Um anyway, mine real quick was I made a dinner plan weeks ago and so I didn't get to watch the midtown. >> No joke. >> That's midtown. >> I'll name drop. Well, we can bleep it.
(03:18) >> Oh my god. >> And the meal was delicious and right around the end of the meal, you could hear the city starting to like shake as it was becoming clear the Knicks were closing in and I mean this is like one of the fanciest restaurants in New York and you looked around at our table and every other table in the restaurant.
(03:35) Everyone just had their phones out. >> It's so loud. >> Just watching it and like every time a shot went in being like, "Ew, ew." Like not wanting to insult the sommelier. >> [laughter] >> And then they finally won it and everyone went [ __ ] batshit. And then the drive home, the part walk home, part drive home was basically like the movie Warriors.
(03:55) >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Like just every single corner, like people lighting [ __ ] on fire and attacking [laughter] each other, and I was like, "Woah, no. This isn't This is not befitting of an older gentleman who had a nice dinner." >> I unfortunately had a dinner reservation last night at a Tex-Mex place called San Antonio Sam's.
(04:13) >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Yeah, that's just bad luck. >> was sad. >> Yeah. Well, it was worse than sad. Uh they definitely congregate Knicks fans congregate around it as though it was uh where the enemy was. >> Right, right, right, right. >> Definitely a lot of Mookie cosplay, people throwing uh full >> [laughter] >> um trash cans through the window.
(04:31) [clears throat] >> Mookie cosplay. I was at Wimby's piano bar. >> Oh, no. >> Yeah. Total coincidence, by the way, nothing to do with basketball. But yeah, they burned it down. >> It's like very French-themed, right? A lot of Edith Piaf stuff. >> Lot of Edith Piaf stuff, but still, it got Mookied. >> It got Mookied.
(04:49) [laughter] A lot of stuff got Mookied >> last night. >> My friend opened a a boots and spurs shop. That got totally Mookied. >> It got [laughter] Mookied out the wazoo. >> Just a lot of places got Mookied last night. Wimby, I would say I'm completely enamored with Wimby, and now he might be like, "I'm actually going to be a villain.
(05:08) I'm actually going to be an NBA villain." >> I mean, Knicks fans hate him more than anything on Earth. >> Yeah. >> Cuz of the smoosh. >> He kind of went Hollywood Hulk Hogan a little bit. That's all. >> I kind of agree. Like at first when Knicks fans were mad at him, I'm like, "Oh, well, this is just New Yorkers don't like people who are good at stuff that is in the way of what they want.
(05:24) " And then I'm like, "Oh, no, he might be villain." >> Shoving Brunson the way he did was like the first like, "Wait a minute." His sweet face. >> understand they're angry and also thought it was funny that he like mushed him and then giggled. >> [laughter] >> He's like, "I'm big." >> know.
(05:39) The way he dropped his foot, it looked like he like purposely was trying to hurt Brunson a little bit. I don't know. >> I don't know. >> Weigh in on the comments, guys. >> I don't know. I think everyone listening, every Quade we know for a fact is deep into this sports convo. >> But this is again, we've always said it's a recapping shorts and then culture at large.
(05:56) >> That's right. >> That's always what we've said since episode one. Go back and listen to episode one. >> Don't listen too closely though. >> Uh Yorm and I had a a night on the town. We were a couple Broadway babies on Thursday. Uh Mike Schur and Pete Grosz joined us and we went and saw Maya and old Mary.
(06:11) Uh you've already done this Andy. It really is. >> Yeah, you were not being hyperbolic any that show. Like she is on one. Like it it is relentless. I actually thought it should come with a little bit of a warning because my throat was hurting so bad from the relentless laughs from the show. >> Yorm, they're not going to pull your quote and put it on the poster, dude.
(06:30) >> Well, it's too late. >> Here's something that that quote you could use. I laughed [laughter] from start to finish and I still laughed a third as much as Yorm did. >> [laughter] >> Like if they did if you I wish I thought ahead to get a cackle track from [laughter] Yorm was so delighted and like it's in shock.
(06:50) Like it was so fun to be next to Yorm. >> I was the only one who had had a drink, but I don't think that that Yeah, I just like spending $42 on drinks. I mean >> Yorm didn't buy it, but he did. Yorm was running a little bit later than the meet up point and did text ahead like can someone get me a $40 margarita which I thought was >> [laughter] >> Somebody that's a great understanding of of Broadway.
(07:09) >> That's a good move. Yeah, if you're going to be late, definitely ask for stuff. >> Um Mike Schur said something that should be a quote on the poster which is he was constantly excited about 3 seconds into the future. Like that's how that show made him. Is that at every point you knew that it was going to be better and different and more exciting.
(07:26) So you were just constantly in a state of joyful anticipation. He was like comedy future tripping. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Um and having seen the show a few times, it was also that thrill of knowing there's like two or three incredible set pieces that you you getting get to see Maya do. And >> Oh god. >> Well, you guys had seen it before.
(07:45) For me it was all brand new. >> I still haven't seen anything. So >> cave dweller >> We got room for you. There's there's room for 8 million and one stories, Keith. Come out here. >> I'd [laughter] love it. That's your New York pitch. >> I apologize >> for anybody who watches corrections and will re-hear this, but it's such a good burn on Bayez that game four Bayez big Knicks fan uh the greatest comeback of all time.
(08:13) That night Bayez's wife had got him tickets to see a giant on Broadway, which is John Lithgow >> Mhm. >> playing Roald Dahl. >> He's great. >> All right. >> It's sort of a long play about a Roald Dahl and anti-semitism and he was It was like like Bayez kind of always looks like a guy who just found out that's what he's doing on the night of a Knicks game. So it very much fit his mood.
(08:34) [laughter] But uh a producer on our show also went and said when they sat down and this speaks to uh the brilliance >> to Bayez. Bayez said Lithgow Knicks. >> [laughter] >> Oh, cuz Bayez also he was he kind of struck out with me cuz he sent me a text. I rarely have to ask him what he meant.
(08:53) Uh but he had a pitch for the name of the your van. >> Oh. >> I think the van should be called Van McCaffrey. Does that make any sense to anybody? >> No. >> No. >> That's right. >> Wait, that's Bayez's pitch or Lithgow's [laughter] pitch? >> No, that's Yeah, no, that's Oh man, that's bad. That's a bad reflection on Bayez.
(09:09) That's so bad it must have been a Lithgow pitch. >> Van McCaffrey. >> Anne McCaffrey was an American writer known for the Dragon Riders of Pern science fiction series. >> Hell yes. >> Okay, now I love it. >> back on board back on board >> I do like that. >> the first woman to win a Hugo Award for fiction and the first to win a Nebula Award.
(09:28) Also, Dragon Riders of Pern sounds like a fake book that a Keenan character would have written in a James Anderson sketch. >> Could be the Dragon Riders. >> Here's what I'll say though, Seth. The reason it threw off is because Van is a name, you know? >> It's look, I think he owned that it was it did not land. >> Yorm, you could call it Van Hammersly.
(09:45) >> That's true. I You guys Dwagon is in my heart. Um here's a couple I know you're very happy with Dwagon, Yorm, but uh Riders on the Yorm. >> [clears throat] >> Yeah. >> Sounds like a subheading. >> Total Decal, like a Total Recall but Total I mean if Total Decal, that's >> Decal. Decal. >> Total Decal. >> The boy with the dragon van.
(10:04) >> Guess that's the girl with the dragon >> tattoo. >> Yeah, that's Yeah, that's a stinker. >> The the the best one was um Dragon Van: D-Van. >> Well, that's what I was wondering is is should it be D-Wagon? >> D-Wagon. >> The long version being the dragon wagon. >> Right. But it's pronounced Dwagon. >> So the other one was yeah, D-Wag: The Dragon Wagon.
(10:26) >> Based on D-War Dinosaur Wars. >> The Dragon Wagon also known as Dwagon. >> Dwagon. >> Yeah, right. >> Um just going to do a quick uh rundown of comments that a lot of people had. Many people during the Stumbling episode admitted they also thought the lyric was walking in slow motion. >> Oh. >> Yeah. >> Wait, but I actually double-checked and it is slow motion later.
(10:47) It's just watching. Yeah. Watching in slow motion. >> Yeah. Walking in slow motion. >> Here was one on the Instagram for the Dragon Wagon. It's Dragon Seth to my vasectomy. >> Oh. Dragon Seth to my vasectomy. Yeah. >> Vasectomy. >> I'd like to have him feel like he's not being dragged to it, but that it's like an oppor- >> opportunity for friendship.
(11:06) >> I posted a photo of us backstage at O'Malley and someone in the comments said I hope at intermission you took Yorm to get his vasectomy. Uh there's no intermission in O'Malley, or else I of course I would have. >> That's the only reason. >> It's the only reason. >> Harpoon Van. These are on the Instagram.
(11:21) >> Vancesters protect me. >> [laughter] >> Can we get three Alvins in the Alvan? >> Mhm. >> All good subheadings. >> Uh Puff the Dragon Wagon. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, well we had a Puff one. >> add dwagon to all these. Puff the dwagon wagon. >> Mhm. >> Oh, it's Salacious B. Crumb is the name of the character, which is the fact that he has a middle initial.
(11:42) I think continues to make it >> Salacious B. Crumb. [laughter] >> Like the So, that means in like Jedi worlds, they have middle names that they initial. >> Yeah, well, there was already a Salacious >> and Sag. >> In Jedi Sag. >> [laughter] >> Oh, I got you. >> I hope it's Bartholomew. It's got to be. >> Salacious B. Crumb.
(12:01) Tatooine, right? I believe that's a Tatooine person. >> Uh any relation to our crumb? >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Could be Bart. >> They're both similar kind of scraggly weirdos. >> Oh, this is a suggested Andy, your Jabba the Hutt Bib Fortuna is quitting to go work for a different Hutt, let's say, and will you please ask Jabba the Hutt in the style of Will Arnett in Hot Rod.
(12:25) Try to tell Bib to wait. >> Bib. >> [laughter] >> Bib. Wait. Bib. Bib. >> No. >> Bib. Wait. >> Bib. Bib. >> Bib. No. >> He can speak English. >> Wait. I like it. >> Sorry. >> It's >> Is Hutt his last name? Is that what you're saying? >> No, he is a Hutt, right? >> He's a Hutt. He might be the Hutt. >> One might go so far.
(12:49) >> I would never say that. >> Um speaking of Hot Rod, a comment Someone went to Niagara Falls Comic Con. There was somebody cos playing as Andy from Hot Rod, and I walked by him and yelled Quaid Army. Unfortunately, it was met by a what? And then I mentioned the pod and asked if he listened and got a um no, sorry.
(13:06) >> [laughter] >> If a guy is cos playing as Rod isn't listening to this podcast, like [laughter] what's what's gone wrong? >> There's a lot of pods out there. >> I went to a bar up the street last night, and then a group of friends were like, "Hey, our friend looks like Andy. Like, look at him.
(13:23) " And then both of us looked at each other, me and the guy, and we both shrugged like, "Nah, not really." >> [laughter] >> He's like, "20%." >> If that. >> Oh, I This is on me. Uh Oh, also last episode, many people in the comments said was Stumblin' the name of the short you guys were talking about or the way Seth was talking? >> Very hurtful because I was tripping over my words.
(13:44) >> Mhm. >> Damn. >> a mean comment. >> Real quick, this is my bad. Like 2 months ago, O'Brien sent me this voice note. And I feel terrible. So, however badly you feel listening to it, Andy, I feel so much worse for the fact that I forgot that he sent it in 2 months ago. Can we listen to that voice note real quick from Mike O'Brien? >> Here we go, baseball.
(14:04) >> Hey, I can tell that sometime in the next month you're going to be covering Stumblin'. Um so, I thought I'd send you a voice note, obviously. Um >> He helped on it. >> get this into you. I mean, >> I just remembered. >> to be honest, it was probably my biggest week in my 6 years at SNL. >> He helped us a lot.
(14:21) He was with us the whole time and then we forgot. >> Just because I co-wrote a digital short, it was just kind of when the show went from being a job to me to more like a family. >> Oh. >> Uh as cheesy as that sounds. Um I've got a ton of [laughter] memories. Um >> It's a real burn. >> Andy and I coming up with the idea while chatting with Sudeikis in our office.
(14:40) Um me, Andy, and Lorne pitching the idea to Paul McCartney backstage at Fallon. >> Uh >> Yep. >> A lot of late-night writing sessions with me, Andy, and Solomon in Andy's office just riffing. Basically from Wednesday night through the show. >> God damn it. >> It was just me, Andy, and Solomon. We started [laughter] calling ourselves the three musketeers.
(15:01) And it was a blast. It changed things for me. I I remember like 22 hours into the 24-hour shoot, we looked at each other and we were like, "I don't know if what we're making is good or bad, but I know that I'll remember this collaboration between the three [laughter] of us forever and ever." >> Why did you erase him? >> Well played.
(15:20) >> O'Brien eraser. >> Uh I'm sorry, dude. >> Has O'Brien had his party yet? >> Oh, I don't know. >> That's a great question. >> I should address it. I should address it. >> Yeah, address it. >> All right. I'm sorry, dude. I forgot. >> [laughter] >> I was so [ __ ] tired. >> Yeah, I was so [ __ ] tired. You were there.
(15:37) >> As soon as the voice note started, I was like, "Oh, right. He was there the whole time. Shit." >> It happens. [laughter] Uh no, the party is in 2 more weeks. >> Yeah, that wasn't good. Okay, so then I won't say what I know about it. >> I could put it in my calendar and try to go as more of a correspondent for this podcast.
(15:52) >> I'll tell you this, Keif. I know >> I'll bring a little mic. I'll take some interviews. >> I know some top secret deeds about it, and it sounds like it might be worth attending. >> Okay. I mean, again, in our efforts to, you know, pad out this pod, I feel like getting Mike on a whole episode to talk about how well his Maverick party went would be great.
(16:07) >> I think that that's well worth like investigating, you know. >> Uh I'm on a boat within What is it called? Uh strands? >> Yeah, it was the spangram. >> Yeah. >> So, we must have all committed murders last week cuz we getting winter soldiered. >> Winter soldiered. Ham was also our, you know, number one Quaid army member, John Ham, was in the crossword.
(16:25) It was a guy who was always raining on Maverick's parade. It was [laughter] a longer clue. It was like, "Guy who doesn't understand that sometimes you need to stick jockey is not afraid." [clears throat] >> Oh my god. But, once he buzzes the tower, you begrudgingly respect him. >> Yeah.
(16:38) It was the longest clue I've ever seen in a crossword. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> And I feel like you guys I feel like you missed this in Maverick. Like, he goes so much faster than like anyone. >> Oh, no. I don't think we missed it. >> That's right. >> Cuz a lot of people think it's the plane, but sometimes there's just like a guy who's like so much better at like pushing that stick.
(16:54) >> Right. It's like it's not the plane, it's the pilot. It's [clears throat] Yeah, it's the person in the box. >> But, he's so much faster. It's nuts. >> uses two hands. >> Sometimes, though, like at the beginning of the movie, it is the plane cuz it's a really fast plane. It's like state of the art. >> It is, but even >> it's like a mini Mach plane.
(17:09) >> to push it to the limit. >> hella Machs. >> Remember we talked about uh Tarr? Like, this is the moment where Tarr dies, and then the rest is a dream. Keif? >> Yeah, well we talked about it with my Billy Madison theory. >> Billy Madison tar. Some people say like he dies in the beginning of Maverick when he >> And the rest is a dream.
(17:25) >> is a dream. >> Of him like reconciling with Goose's son. >> Right. >> Yeah. >> But the only problem is every moment from the beginning of the first Top Gun to the end of that movie is a dream. >> [laughter] >> A dream for a movie viewer. >> already his entire life's been a dream. It's not like oh and then all of a sudden things start working out.
(17:40) >> It's certainly a dream for me as a viewer. >> Um sometimes the Quades are a little bit their minds are a little dirty and I don't care for their wordplay. >> Right. So give us an example. >> Okay, if you want an example, wonderful. >> [laughter] >> Uh someone said I've taken to watching the digital shorts for each episode ahead of listening so I have context.
(18:01) I realize I've been pre-quimming. >> Mhm. Well, you got to be careful cuz >> Disgusting. >> Mind out of the gutter. >> You can still get pregnant that way. >> [laughter] >> The problem now is like we've really left this on Nick's plate as to whether or not this will go in the Nicktionary. >> Although is Nicktionary correct? >> The New York Nicktionary? >> Yeah.
(18:19) >> It's spelled with KN, right? >> That's correct. >> Thanks. >> Um hey Lauren, this is my last comment and then we're going to get to I just had sex. >> It's actually Lauren. >> Jesus Christ. >> Did anyone Oh, real quick, two-part question. Did anybody in prep for this episode try to have sex with their wife this morning and follow up did it go as badly as it did with mine? >> [laughter] >> Like just getting the headspace where you're like hey, I'm doing this thing it just might be cool.
(18:45) >> We had to be tired cuz of the Knicks game. >> Absolutely not. >> I'm away so. >> Support comes from Shopify. Picture this. It's late at night and you're scrolling through your feeds when all of a sudden you see it. The one product that you've been looking for. You click on the link, add to cart, maybe even look around a little more before finally hitting checkout.
(19:06) As you're filling in your address you realize that you don't have your card anywhere near you. That's when you see it. That purple pay button that has all your information saved making checking out as simple as a tap of your screen. Now, forgive me if that was just too thrilling of a story for you guys, but it's what they wrote down and it's what I like saying.
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(20:00) Go to shopify >> [music] >> with Shopify and their Shop Pay button. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com/thelonelyisland. Go to shopify.com/thelonelyisland. That's shopify.com/thelonelyisland. Support comes from Quince. If there's one refresh worth making this season, it's your bedding.
(20:27) Am I right, Yorm, you stinky little night sweater sweating [music] piece of crap? Summer nights always leave me wanting bedding that feels lighter, more breathable, genuinely comfortable. Not Yorm though, he likes to keep it heavy and hot even in the summer months. He says he loses a lot of weight by making it really, really hot in his bedroom at night.
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(21:07) I know Sep likes those soft neutrals. Sep's a bit of a soft neutral himself. Their 100% European linen bedding is woven from high-quality flax and somehow gets softer every time you wash it. Now, that's my kind of stuff. >> [music] >> If you're more of a cotton person, their organic cotton sheets are incredibly soft and breathable.
(21:26) Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middle men, so you're [music] paying for quality, not brand markup. >> I've said this before, but uh we got some Quince stuff sent to us and we liked it so much that we actually bought some more Quince stuff with our own hard-earned cash.
(21:44) Elevate your summer bedding. Go to quince.com/island for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince, q u i n c 365-day returns. quince.com/island. >> A Lauren uh a Lauren uh from Chicago said her husband and her recently visited NYC. They had downloaded the first two seasons of Digman for the plane.
(22:14) >> Okay. >> They're fans of the pod. And then they were like laughing and joking about like, "Oh my god, we need to watch him before we get to New York so we can get a >> me. >> Well, in case we see you, they'll get a quote. >> Yeah. >> Mhm. >> Then they said, uh "We sat down for our last dinner in the West Village and Andy was at the table next to us.
(22:31) " >> You are [ __ ] me. >> What? >> And they were too nervous to ask for a quote, but they did quietly quate army while you were leaving. Thought you didn't hear and then something clicked and you doubled back and gave them a very satisfying righteous kill. >> [laughter] >> Do you remember this, Andy? >> Uh Keve, like not to dunk, but this's been every restaurant I've gone in [laughter] New York.
(22:54) >> Oh, yeah. >> It could be any number of wonderful quades that I righteous killed in the last couple of weeks. >> In the West Village? >> West Village, uh it was either >> And I'll will bleep all these restaurants cuz we're gatekeepers. >> [laughter] >> Uh >> Like >> Yeah. >> Yeah, you're hitting all the the >> Yeah.
(23:12) >> trendy spots. >> But not the >> house where Alf's dad sucked. >> [laughter] >> Was that in the West Village, Seth? >> In the '80s. In the '80s. >> Yeah, in the '80s. >> It was? Geez. >> Now it's >> They ruined the city, guys. >> [laughter] >> Now it's a townhouse >> to the bleep train. >> Such a perfect one to go on.
(23:31) >> [laughter] >> Like A to B in Seth's brain is my favorite. >> The minute like I feel like now I'm going to have like Pavlov's dog every time I hear a bleep and anything I'm going to be like, "Oh, >> house where ALF'S DAD SUCKED." >> [laughter] >> WE GOT TO FIGURE OUT WHERE the address was so we can go visit.
(23:50) >> Be like, "We'll bleep these restaurants. Oh yeah, and Yoram's phone number is >> [laughter] >> No, I also thought I also thought Seth that it's not Alf's dad. Like >> [laughter] >> No, yeah, yeah. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Alf's dad's back on Melmac. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, that's you're right. That is such a smear cuz like Alf's dad's like, "Dude, I didn't suck at a house >> The character Alf's dad >> he would probably go, "Hey!" cuz he would sound like Alf.
(24:13) "Hey!" >> Is that how Alf sounds? >> "Seth, Seth, I DIDN'T SMOKE THE >> [laughter] >> THAT'S THE DAD. >> YEAH. Don't eat the cat. >> YEAH. >> SMOKE THE >> [laughter] >> THIS WILL all be bleeped. >> different. In Melmac you >> Yeah. >> What do you do? You smoke You smoke in a house with no A. >> [laughter] >> What was that Seth? >> You suck in a >> Right, cuz everything's reversed there.
(24:41) >> It's kind of a a John Bovi kind of a planet. >> Sorry, you're right. That's on the John Bovi >> planet. >> And I'm wrong too cuz we had said that uh he was maybe Alf's dad, right? >> So >> Right, it's possible. >> We've had a lot >> get greeted on Melmac they're like, "We do things a little different around here.
(24:55) " >> For [laughter] our theory about that he [ __ ] an aardvark and then brought home Alf, then Seth is right. So maybe Seth was just still on the trajectory of that version. >> Um, all right. I just had sex, you guys. This is a big one. >> This is a big one. So, this is the first one besides what was that that then became not for the album after we did it and went, "Oh, well, how about that's just a short?" and got removed from the album.
(25:20) So, this is the first album track >> God, yeah. >> being put on there. >> And is this our biggest downloaded one? Not downloaded, but >> This is our biggest I uh well, it's definitely >> because I'm on a boat went double platinum in the official old-school way. >> Yeah. >> This went platinum. >> an arguably a better song. >> Yes, but this went platinum, but then since then, whenever we get the metrics from like Spotifys and Apples, it's by far, by double, every month it does double what I'm on a boat does worldwide.
(25:50) >> Really? >> But because it's because it's streaming, it's by far the most popular song we have. >> Yeah. >> It's our biggest song. >> So, is it based on more people are [ __ ] than boating, do you think? >> Probably. >> yeah, sex is way more accessible than boats. >> Yeah. Despite the best efforts of the legislation.
(26:06) >> a lot of people have just had sex on any given day. >> Yeah, but how many are on boats? >> A fraction of people. >> Once we get head writers block, we would joke around that our go-to song was going to be like, "I just had sex on a boat and I just >> [laughter] >> Yeah, I just in my pants. >> It's like a boss.
(26:26) >> [laughter] >> And then we'd all commit suicide. >> Yes, that'd be the end of it. Quit the biz. >> In the multiverse where there is like, you know, an infinite number of lonely islands, some of them did that. >> Yeah, well, AI would maybe come up >> did just do a Yeah. >> Well, Andy, do you want to talk about your process of coming up with this idea? >> Well, I think this one was our process.
(26:48) You me and you, Yorm, right? We were did, >> I think it was I think it stemmed from you you chef >> one of the ones we've talked about in terms of where I went to bed with um my pregnant wife in Encino and woke up and these guys had done a first >> she is your Mcgruber. Your pregnant wife is such your Mcgruber.
(27:06) >> My pregnant wife [laughter] is my Mcgruber. And then I woke up and they had done the first chorus cuz that's the beginning cuz it starts hard right on it and >> few lines I think. >> And the first I think you had most of your first verse. >> Yeah. >> Um so I think we've mentioned this before maybe when we were first talking about making the the Turtleneck and Chain album.
(27:27) But we had been going for a couple of weeks and we were like, I feel like we're putting a little bit too much pressure on ourselves to come up with ideas and a few nights me and Yorm decided that we were going to be like throwback musician types and smoke weed and try and brainstorm. >> around a lot. >> And we had weed as it happened.
(27:46) >> We did, yeah. >> And we did we had a couple of nights >> Yorm, correct me if I'm wrong. Not that you'll remember, but >> where we did this and a lot of ideas came out of it including the song idea for Turtleneck and Chain which you had been phrase-wise wanting to implement somehow and was all how we dressed in junior high.
(28:06) And we jotted down the sentence I just had sex cuz I I don't even remember when or why I came up with it, but we had like a bunch of ideas on our like ideal list on a document on our desktop. And then um the day after one of those sessions uh Phil Lord and Chris Miller came over and we were playing them stuff. Um but actually Chris Miller sent a voice note, so why don't we listen to that cuz maybe he'll say it himself.
(28:28) >> Let me I can pull it up. >> Do you want to tell them who Chris Miller is? >> Uh yes, Chris Miller and Phil Lord are uh our friends first and foremost, but also wonderful writer directors who have made 21 Jump Street, The Lego Movies, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs >> Spider-Verse >> Spider-Verse, Project Hail Mary >> Kind of nuts.
(28:46) >> Uh I'm sure I'm forgetting something else >> You have >> that's huge. They're great. >> The Brooklyn 99 pilot. >> Yeah, they directed the Brooklyn 99 pilot and they were the producers of the Awesometown pilot. >> Exactly. >> So we've known them a long time and we love them very much. >> Here we go.
(29:02) Okay, here's what I remember and it's not very much. We [laughter and snorts] came to visit you guys in your McMansion. There was a bunch of amazing songs that you guys were working on and there was a yellow legal notepad that a bunch of song titles of things that you hadn't recorded yet and may or may not be doing. I was looking through it and I saw I just had sex. And I was like that that's it.
(29:27) That's the one. >> [laughter] >> You you had just done I'm on a boat and it was a big hit and I was like this is the exact same false bravado show of I'm on a boat but even more so. And I think that Andy you were like See, I was telling you guys. >> [laughter] >> And then I think we left and then you guys tried it.
(29:52) >> Oh. >> Thank you Chris. Congratulations on waking up. >> [laughter] >> It's early over here. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Well, it sounds like it maybe you've been asleep for a few months and [laughter] congratulation you're going to like to see the box office. Project Hail Mary did very well. >> Uh yes, my recollection was he looked at that phrase and said, "What's I just had sex?" And I was like, "Oh, I think just what it sounds like.
(30:15) " And he was like, [clears throat] "That's the one I want to hear." >> It's great. >> And then so that night we smoked marijuana, which is legal now. >> Mhm. >> So. >> Right. >> So it was it was even cooler at the time. >> Yeah, exactly. We were edgy. >> It wasn't was it legal that was it legal then? >> It was not legal then. >> No, no.
(30:32) Well, we were [ __ ] cool musicians then. >> had a guy. >> Cuz I remember like that was when Lauren would grill you guys really hard about whether or not you had smoked weed to come up with the ideas cuz he was very suspicious all the time and he was to the letter of the law. >> Yeah, he'd be like, "This one's pretty demented, guys.
(30:45) You sure you're in your right minds?" [laughter] >> Yeah, hold on. You guys Breakfast I I mean, honestly Honestly, a lot of people would come up to us and be like, "You guys must be so high." And we're like, "Very rarely." >> Yeah, that's the main thing you get when you're a comedian, where people go like, "What were you smoking when you came up with that?" And annoyingly, just had sex. We actually were.
(31:04) >> [laughter] >> So, it's like, "Ah, you actually got us." We're we're very cliché. >> Which is the weird thing is like I just had sex is a banger and a it's fantastic, but it's way simpler than some of your other ideas that might have been more weed forward. >> I think that's partly why we were like, "Let's get high and like release ourselves from overthinking.
(31:23) " >> Let yourselves off the hook. >> let's just do something simple. >> Cuz I could definitely see you guys saying like I just had sex is like maybe too >> to correct and this is this is no I don't mean this as shade to Akiva. I think that it is actually saying that he's a smarter person occasionally than me and Andy, but some of those ideas that are really really base.
(31:42) And Akiva, like correct me if I'm wrong cuz I don't know if you would have stopped. >> I don't know either, but I know the moment I woke up in the morning and you guys were still asleep and I was like, "Let's see what these goofballs got up to." And I saw a new folder and I clicked it and played it. I was very hyped.
(31:57) There was no question in my mind as to whether or not it was a a keeper. >> I remember that you being like, "That that sounded good. That's a good start. Let's finish it." >> Yeah, I was not I was not confused about what I had just heard. >> [laughter] >> But so yeah, we were like We had flagged that beat already, I think, cuz we always do that when we get sent beats where we're like, "Oh, that one sounds like big business.
(32:16) It'd be cool to come up with an idea for it." So Did we already have a reason to think Akon would do a song or we just thought of Akon after we wrote it? >> we did. I thought that >> I don't think we had any clue. >> I think we had an inclination he would and I can't remember why, Akiva, but like cuz the the very first demo version, I think, it It me doing the temp being like, "Akon.
(32:38) " >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Yes to that, but I'm not I don't think we knew that he was >> But there was like we taking over and all that stuff and he was >> Oh, he was definitely our top top top choice. >> he would always sing his own name right in the beginning, the preamble of the song and we were like it'd be so tight to have one of those.
(32:55) Same way we were with T-Pain. We were like, "Shout A." >> And how we always wanted a DJ Khaled one but did not get that. >> It's also really funny though to say Akon and Lonely Island. >> [laughter] >> You just like, "What? How did these guys get paired up?" >> Also, he is and we this will come across when we watch it.
(33:12) He's so joyful the whole time. >> And that was how he was in real life. >> Every moment we were with him he was just like, "Hello." And like [laughter] just so so happy. >> He wasn't thrilled about some of the colder scenes. >> No, the cold his face was like frozen but we'll get to that. >> Yeah. >> I found an old email I sent to myself with ideas for the song.
(33:29) >> Great. >> Okay. Um I haven't read them yet so this might be a bust. >> Okay. >> There's two main ways it can go with sex. >> [laughter] >> Great. >> One is you do great and she's super satisfied and everyone feels great. The other is you don't do great but let's be honest that's pretty great too. >> [laughter] >> It still ends well and feels pretty great.
(33:47) >> These are lyric ideas. >> These are just yeah, there he is. Yeah. You know that feeling that you have when you feel so great? Well, that's how I feel after I have sex. [laughter] >> There it is. >> And then he wrote later, "All the men feeling good step out the door and sing.
(34:03) " And then a huge shot of like 30 doors all down a block and dudes come out of each one and sing the chorus emotionally. And then this song goes out to the ladies that let us climb on them and flop around. The world isn't fair plus you got to have babies. Your patience and ability to endure us continues to astound. >> That is such an Andy lyric. Flop around.
(34:22) Well, it ended up in there. >> Oh yeah, flop. >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] great. >> This is a fun alternate universe to imagine is that you have you're working on this song. This is like on your bedside table. [laughter] You go out that evening, you meet a woman, you have a passionate evening. She wakes up first and she's like, "Oh, what's he been scribbling at?" >> [laughter] >> And then she picks that up and then it's just a slow zoom in on her face with horror movie while she realizes she's had sex with the dumbest person with the
(34:50) dumbest ideas about sex. >> Which have any of you guys ever asked your wife to pork? Because I will tell you it doesn't go well. >> No, it doesn't go well. >> I could give that a go. >> Yeah, I know. You know what? I should try it though. I would love to I would yeah, love to loop back. >> sounds crazy, but it almost seemed like she wanted me to do it.
(35:07) This was all first thing. [laughter] Hey, who am I to argue with a good thing? Good thing I had my penis with me. >> Good [laughter] thing I had Good thing I had my penis with me. >> Should have put that in. >> Yeah, that was that was a winner. That's a a more complicated American than [laughter] some of the that made it in.
(35:24) >> Anyways, I thought it was interesting. I was like, "Oh yeah, some of the original ideas were in that email to myself." >> This video airs December 18th, 2010. >> The December slot. It's a big big slot. >> episode. >> Lucky number December. >> We've hit the Christmas now. We've done Lazy Sunday, we've done Dick in a Box, and we did I Just Had Sex.
(35:41) Those are good Christmas shows. >> Yeah. >> Um for any young person who is a writer, like I cannot tell you the value of what Andy did there. Like anytime you have dumb ideas that you're like, "Well, I won't forget these. They're too dumb." Like writing down, >> Yeah. >> emailing it to yourself, having a like a a rolling just notes app on your phone for like the dumbest ideas.
(36:02) >> Yep. >> Especially as you get older, you [ __ ] forget [ __ ] The amount that I go to bed being like, "Oh, that's [ __ ] good, but I'm so tired I'm not going to write it down now." And then you wake up and you're like, "Well, gone forever." >> It's like when I came up with the idea for Stumbling Completely Without O'Brien.
(36:15) >> Right. [clears throat] Totally. [laughter] >> What you should write down, Andy, is who you come up with your ideas with. >> I probably should. I I have this weird confidence that where I believe I just did did all on my own. [laughter] >> I feel like actually the people that collaborate with Andy should maybe make sure he writes [laughter] down.
(36:32) >> They should be every year text me like, "We did that together." >> Hey, happy anniversary of that thing we did together. Now, without looking at the rundown and if you already have this is moot. Who was the musical guest for the episode? Can you guys guess? >> I already looked. >> Akon. >> Eminem and Lil Wayne together.
(36:49) >> Wow. >> And then the audacity of that our dumb rap. >> [laughter] >> Can you even call it rap? It's basically like words strung together. >> Yeah. >> But you're doing the joyous kind of um I don't know what you'd call it bounce of a T.I. almost like as a as a North Star. Not that you sound like him or are doing an impression, but it's got that kind of um >> It's T.I. coded as Seth likes to say.
(37:16) >> That is how Seth put it. >> Yeah, totally. This [ __ ] is very T.I. coded. >> [laughter] >> It's weird that both of those guys didn't immediately like hound us to be like, "Well, how can we be down?" >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Can we be on a song? >> At good nights they were like, "We're not worthy.
(37:30) " And they started doing the Wayne's World bow to you. [laughter] >> Just before I forget, this is a reminder that I was at this um Tribeca Film Festival dinner uh last week and De Niro was there and someone came up to me and like whispered in my ear like, "You going to talk to him about Mr. Bernard's later?" >> [laughter] [clears throat] >> And I do wish I had just confidently went over and been like, "Mr. Bernard.
(37:54) " >> [laughter] >> Well, if it isn't Mr. Bernard. >> Party at your house. >> Like, "Hey, do a voice note into my phone for the pod." He's like, "What? What? What?" No. >> [laughter] >> No, just do it. Just do later quads and it Just do it. >> You know, from Total Recall. It's from Total Recall.
(38:11) Oh my god, you don't listen to the pod? Oh my god, who are you? A Hot Rod cosplayer? Anyway, good to see you, Mr. [laughter] Bernard. >> Uh Jesus Christ, whatever time it is today is the time we should record with Seth. >> So Andy, you found the shot list if we're bumping to that. >> Well, do we want to hear a little piece of the demo? >> Yeah.
(38:32) >> We always talk about how we do the shitty temp. >> So we actually were able to find two different demos. So Andy, you found the one that we sent to Akon where in the email I said I had cut some of the first verse down, something must we must have discussed, and then we had added >> Added the key change. >> The key change.
(38:49) >> Yeah. >> So that one is 2 minutes and 56 seconds, which the song according to Wikipedia is 2:48. Then I have another version that is probably from earlier. So I'm going to play that one. This is the demo from Encino of I Just Had Sex, number seven. >> Sometimes something [music] beautiful happens in this world.
(39:11) You don't know how to express yourself, so you just got to sing. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> It's really fun. >> It's It's so surprising that he said yes to it cuz he probably got so nervous listening to that. >> I going to top that? >> Yeah, like no way am I topping that. >> Yeah, and I did the teen witch to him.
(40:00) I was like, "Top that." >> [laughter] >> I will say I can hear myself in that chorus, and I don't think it helped. >> [laughter] [music] >> Those horns there are so dope. >> Oh. as a man can be. >> Oh, change lines. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] >> A lot of differences. >> All day. Three Shreks. >> Three Shreks is dope.
(40:47) You'd be greener than three Shreks. [ __ ] that. Shrek has stayed in the world. That that holds up. >> Yeah, that holds up. >> Yeah. Rich people should start saying that to each other. >> You wouldn't guess a topical thing like that would still be so real. If anything, more so today. >> That dude was popping off like three Shreks.
(41:02) >> Zero memory of that line. >> [ __ ] And then Yorm's was different? >> Yep. >> There you go. >> [music] >> Those A's were very popular in uh pop rap at the moment. >> Yeah. >> Live your life and whatnot. >> [music and singing] [music] [music] [singing] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music]
(42:09) >> Yeah. [music] >> Good changes. >> I want >> [music] [music] [singing] [music] >> So, yeah, some good changes and some questionable ones, maybe. >> Really Shrek. >> Shrek [laughter] is the one like listening back. Like what do you guys think it was that you took Shrek out? >> I don't know.
(42:47) I don't know cuz the rest the rest are definitely better what we came to later. >> Yeah, good thing I had my penis with me is good, but that turned into best 30 seconds of my life which is a big laugh. >> Yeah, if you like this kind of thing, you know. >> Well, also I think like all [laughter] those things that again this song works better because we know you guys are bad at it and like they're less cocky.
(43:06) >> I'm impressed that we had made a song called turtleneck and chain and then immediately referenced it. >> [laughter] >> Well, we had learned from our Santana DVX references in the first one that it works and we like it. >> Had we already made turtleneck and chain though? >> Oh, we might not have. >> I mean clearly, yeah.
(43:20) >> Well, I mean we knew that we wanted to be dabbling that area. I just don't know if we had recorded that song yet. >> I I think we we had to. We had to cuz like you and I had were just stomping around saying say when we I don't save it for the we talk about it. >> turtleneck and chain >> Uh okay, I'm going to play the other one but >> Which is this? This is another demo? >> Yeah, this is a different demo that Andy found.
(43:40) >> Okay. This is the one we sent to Akon. >> Sometimes something [music] beautiful happens in this world. You don't know how to express yourself, so you just got to sing. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] >> Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great. It felt so good [music] when I did it with my penis.
(44:23) A girl let me do it. It literally just happened. Having sex [music] can make a nice man out of me. You'd never guess where I just came from. I had sex. If I had to describe [music and singing] the feeling, it was the best. When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great and I called my parents right after I was done. >> Hey, here's a list of [music] places where I had sex. This bed, that's it.
(44:43) Saw her boobies and the rest. On a scale of 1 to 10, [music] felt good. Google Plex. So nice my penis said thanks and it entered it. We did [music] my favorite position known as Froggy Delight, also known as missionary. >> You were free. >> Damn right. What's your nicer her to let me do that thing.
(45:00) Nicest phonetic girl ever. >> All new ones in the places. >> All new stuff. >> Froggy [laughter] Delight. >> I made my favorite position called Froggy Delight, also known as missionary. >> [laughter] >> You were free. >> Damn right. I feel like we couldn't do that in the video cuz like how would we be looking at >> It got It gets a little bit into Don't give a honk territory.
(45:20) >> its own bizarre [ __ ] >> Exactly, it's just falling apart. >> And then what was yours, Andy? It was also pretty good. >> Google Plex. >> Google Plex and here's all the places >> Yeah, that's it. My bed. >> Oh, yeah. >> That's it. That's it. >> Yeah, there's some comedy ideas. >> Yeah.
(45:37) Again, if the final version had been either of these versions, absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. >> Musically though, I will say all the sections we changed, I think musically got like in a good way sanded down into a more pro sounding song. >> Mhm. >> Totally. The final version is better. It's just nice to know that like it wasn't like it stunk.
(45:57) You >> But it's an interesting lesson cuz it's not necessarily funnier, it's just musically better. >> But it's it's interesting cuz I agree with you, but some of those lyrics have a little bit more like there's more words in them and there's a little bit more word sound play that's going on. But like we almost wanted to these guys to be more simplistic, I think.
(46:16) >> More stupid. Yeah. >> Three tracks though. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> There we go. >> [music] [music]
(47:24) [music] [music and singing] [singing] [music] [music] >> Fun. >> [ __ ] >> It's a very interesting point you make of like these guys making them a little bit dumber, especially because the song is your most popular song and it's a reminder of like sometimes like being a little bit less clever in the lyrics is probably a some positive for >> Also just when you're talking about this subject matter, you have to believe that they are innocents.
(48:12) Otherwise it gets too aggressive and it ruins the fun of it. Yeah. >> Taking like things like positions and things like that get a little I mean just they know too much. >> Almost. Right. >> Uh but it's a very funny they'll be like, oh yeah, no, you guys took good really good stuff out and made it better. >> heard that and went, I'm in.
(48:28) >> [laughter] >> We always have that moment when we work with these great artists where they send something back and we're like holy [ __ ] >> Yes. >> Cuz all of a sudden it's real. But never, at least for me personally, never to the degree this one was. Where when he sent >> Uh T-Pain. This one and T-Pain. >> Yeah.
(48:44) >> Yeah, yeah, the T-Pain was pretty good. But but he's so much more in this one even than the T-Pain was in that one. But the moment this started it was like, oh my oh my god. Wait, did what did what I think [laughter] just happen happen? Where it elevated everything. I mean you can just We'll do a listen through, but just for a second let me just pull it up.
(49:03) Cuz I want to talk I want to look at this treatment together for a second and see what we did and didn't do. But I just want to hear the first chorus. >> Support comes from Cash App. For all of the parents out there with teenagers, we know you're already trying to keep a million different things under control. Cash App is here to help make sure your teen's money and their spending [music] isn't adding to that craziness.
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(50:51) app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. >> It's interesting also and it was the same thing with the T-Pain demo on boat to hear when someone is an incredible singer and an incredible songwriter as well, not just lyrically but melodically especially, the moments where whatever choice I made in the demo assuming they'd make it better anyway but like they just choose a different note and it's the difference, right? It's like the difference between it being a global sounding thing versus like people making something in the a room.
(51:23) >> Yeah, there's a bunch of little choices he made that anybody who knows the song well just heard the differences of that are awesome. >> Yeah. >> Uh anybody want to guess how many hit are posted on The Lonely Island YouTube has? >> Has it has it hit 200 mil? >> I think that's that's one guess or question. >> 206 is my >> 175.
(51:42) Are you are you know something? 211. I don't know. >> Do you already know? >> Um I am not going to guess cuz I think I have a more a more clear idea of it. >> It's a 355. >> Oh, wow. >> just keeps going. >> Way off. >> I was going [snorts] to say 311 because amber is the color of your arms energy. >> Yeah. >> Thanks. >> Andy. >> That's actually true.
(51:57) >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> I'm going to pretend like I get it. >> You know you whoa, amber is the color of your energy. >> By the band 311. >> Got it. Got it. Got it. Now I get it. >> Obviously cut me singing. Please cut me singing. >> perfect. >> Why would I wait cut that? >> Let's get Akon to sing that part.
(52:16) Can Akon come in and sing me 311? >> Cuz just we're not doing the listen through yet, but I just want to hear the difference of what came back to us. >> Sometimes something beautiful happens in this world. >> It was right from that moment where it was like >> The first note. >> [laughter] >> WHAT'S HAPPENING? >> A DJ THAT just goes rewind. No, no, no, no, no.
(52:38) We got to just start it over again. >> It's literally like did any of you guys watch the Travis Scott documentary that came out a few years ago where like he plays the songs he's made for his friends and the second they start they all just go crazy and they're like we're going TO BE RICH. >> [laughter] >> THAT WAS DEFINITELY THE FEELING WE HAD ON THIS ONE. We were like god damn it.
(52:58) >> [laughter] >> Sometimes something beautiful happens in this world. [music] You don't know how to express yourself so >> Yeah. >> [music] >> You're also hearing you're also hearing it mixed now from stems in a way. >> Yeah, I have a >> I have a question. >> Yeah. >> Why didn't you wait till it was warmer? >> [laughter] >> Like I mean it's immediately like the comedy of this is not that you guys have to wear earmuffs, but it's obviously so [ __ ] cold.
(53:25) >> Seth, we don't go on when we're ready. >> [laughter] >> We go on cuz it's 11:30. >> It's definitely not a cool music video look, Seth. We're wearing [laughter] earmuffs. >> We're going to get to this, but this is the coldest I've been in my life ever. >> Without a doubt. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> I believe it's because Seth I believe it's because we were strategically like >> Christmas.
(53:44) It should be the Christmas episode. >> Yeah. >> That's great. >> this felt like probably our biggest one. >> strategically are like we also should do it outside where it's cold. >> Right. Right. Right. Right. [laughter] >> Like there's an inside version. >> Beyond that though, we shot this on the top of the MetLife building. >> Do you want to say the last thing which is when I think about ideal sex conditions? >> Right. Freezing cold.
(54:03) >> I've ever been. >> Oh, no. For me it is that. >> [laughter] >> Uh let's look at this real quick. So this is a treatment for the video that Andy found. And this one is written in the format I would do, but it's really clean compared to most of them and it's because it had to go to a not just SNL people because we did it with a outside of SNL crew, but it's from 12/9 so we were thinking about this a week earlier.
(54:27) >> Well, the label paid for this, right? >> Yeah, that's what I mean. So we knew this was going to music video professionals who expect a different level of clarity than SNL people who know you're doing it overnight. This is three pages which is very ambitious. And let's just glance through and see if there's anything interesting.
(54:44) So the overview writes >> You shot this on a show a show week though, correct? Like this is not in the show. >> Definitely early in a show week, but yes. >> How early in a show week do >> to say we did top of the MetLife building on Monday or Wednesday. Yeah. >> Okay. So I just looked real quick. I do want to say something.
(55:02) I just Googled how cold was it in New York December 2010. And I just want to read December 2010 was unseasonably cold in New York. >> Yes. [laughter] >> The absolute lowest recorded temperature in New York City that month was 19° on December 14th. >> that's literally the day we were shooting. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> I remember us talking about about how it was record low and with the wind chill it actually was -7 and then we chose the second highest building that you can go on the rooftop of in all of New York City.
(55:31) >> And not only that, went above the rooftop which we will we'll get to that in a little bit. >> It was so dangerous. >> Now, uh the good news is I believe Akon's from the northern part of Finland. >> [laughter] >> Seth, don't jump ahead. >> Uh There were people measuring it and saying it was definitely below zero up there. Like people had things.
(55:55) >> Oh, for sure. I think it was -7. >> Yeah. >> Okay, so this is the overview. We want this to look and feel like a real Akon video. It should be bright and happy and fun. Shot with dolly and steady as well as helicopter and crane. We didn't We never did helicopter, but that's that's how bold the overview is.
(56:12) >> Helicopter and crane is your favorite new restaurant, right, Seth? >> That's what I thought you guys were going to call turtleneck and chain. >> Helicopter [laughter] and crane. >> Helicopter crane. >> Helicopter crane. >> All right, so rooftop performance on a waterfront rooftop, going real, you know, dick in a box.
(56:28) Singing to the world, helicopter shots, steady on the roof. Possibly add fireworks to the background. >> With CG? >> Mhm. >> A version of that >> that happened, we'll get to that. >> Yeah. >> Times Square full performance, them in the middle of Times Square singing while camera spins around them. Shots of the big screens, too. Central Park.
(56:44) >> It's so funny that the first thing I just want to say it should be bright and happy and fun. First shot, middle of the night on the coldest it's ever been. >> But look at how happy they are. >> They're happy, but like I got to be honest, like when you see people that happy with earmuffs on, not by a fire, you're like, I don't know if they're really happy.
(57:01) >> Keev's screaming direction, though. >> Happier! >> And they couldn't hear him cuz they were wearing [ __ ] earmuffs. >> We can hear him. >> Akon literally could not move his mouth. He was like frozen in a smile. >> the first thing his rep said was that like he's from Senegal, he's definitely doesn't like cold.
(57:17) And we're like, cool cool cool. >> [laughter] >> Cool cool cool Well, it's the coldest day in 20 years. >> Yeah, not a problem. >> All right, then we got a bunch of singles, then we got the kitchen. Andy pours himself coffee, living room or hallway, Andy crosses to the bedroom where there's a girl in bed, Andy crying while having sex, girl putting a paper bag on Andy's head, girl not into the boobies in the rest line, Andy in bed with the manure dressed as a girl in a wig and bra. This is all very clean.
(57:42) Yorm on the street, exits house, walks down the street. Old woman waters her lawn, Yorm raps to her. I don't believe that happens. Old man reads the paper on a porch. I don't think this whole setup happened, right? >> It ended up in the park. We just found that fountain. >> So, then Yorm in a bedroom, bed with girl on the phone having sex while wearing his turtleneck and chain, girl looking at her watch while they have sex, girl being racist so we didn't know what that was yet.
(58:05) Uh there's the fast food setup that we do. There's a steam room setup. We really did a lot of these. Hair nail setup. >> I remember for some reason doing the hair and nail salon setup and Key were in that shot and just us giggling so much and being like right now in this moment our lives rip. >> That's nice.
(58:22) That's [laughter] really >> Like we're making like a big ass music video. There's a smoked out atmosphere all around this salon and it we're in these stupid robes singing this stupid ass song and we're all together. Every now and again the moment congeals that like you're actually getting to do this stuff, you know? >> And we knew this song sounded good.
(58:40) I I remember having a an excitement after knowing what I'm on a boat could do of the feeling of like, oh this is going to [ __ ] blow minds on Saturday night. And that's an exciting place from our It's a departure from our normal like, what the [ __ ] are we doing? >> Uh-huh. >> Like the song was already done.
(58:58) So, now we're just making the video to support it. >> Yeah. >> And we already know that Akon's in it. >> Not having to think of write and record and mix the song all like in the 24 hours before you shoot the video is definitely more fun. >> Yes. Exactly. [laughter] >> Yeah, shooting on a Monday is like a joy. Absolute joy.
(59:18) That rather than 48 hour film fest every week. >> Well, we called them Armageddon shots and we've done them in other projects since which is the the classic of this moment and how it affects people around the world. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> The electronic store with people staring at the window with the storefront. >> Yeah. >> A home in China with a Chinese family watching it.
(59:38) An Irish pub with a bunch of Irish people watching it. Times Square with people watching it. Where you're like trying to >> It's such a cheat code for when you don't have any money to be like, "It's happening everywhere in the world on video screens." >> Yeah, but they're all teeny little sets. Um, Tron in Tokyo, we tried to do off of stock footage.
(59:54) >> I don't remember that one. >> Satellites in space picking up the feed, rerouting. These are possible stock shots. >> Obama's [laughter] acceptance speech in Chicago with the big screens was one of the ones >> be playing on those screens. Love that joke. >> Didn't end up doing that one. >> I Well, we have that studio that wasn't ours or anything, but when we were in New York and had to do actual recording, >> Yeah.
(1:00:16) >> we would go to Downtown Records, which was in SoHo, and they had really nice studio that you can see in the beginning of Jack Sparrow, cuz that's where we shot the recording studio scenes in Jack Sparrow was in the actual recording studio where we were >> Yes. >> cleaned up. >> What was the hookup for that place? Like, what was the connection? >> It was So, Downtown Records, the guy's name was Josh something who owned it, and that was the record label that was kind of this new little cool one that had signed as some of the earliest acts,
(1:00:42) Gnarls Barkley and Electric Guest. >> Ah, that's what it was. Yeah. >> Your brother. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, and so we got to know them, and then when we needed a New York studio space, he gave us a good rate to I think it, you know, like to have it That's why we met Sade. >> Sade. >> Cuz she was doing her album next door in the other studio.
(1:00:59) There were two studios. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> And so we ended up going there like we brought Nicki Minaj there. That's where Kendrick Lamar recorded his stuff with us. But then that's also where we mixed the albums. >> Mhm. >> When we needed a New York space. Not the first album, cuz that was Brian Sperber and he did it at his house.
(1:01:13) But the second album, we definitely Turn Up the Music and Chains, we got to actually mix in a real room. >> Yep. >> But there was something that So, Akon, he sent the entire thing and we decided we needed one word of one thing changed to like have more separation and I don't remember what it was, but it meant that we got to hang out with them in the studio like the day before we did the video and try to [clears throat] pick up some stuff.
(1:01:33) >> Yep. And then leading up to shooting the video, we must have had to reach out to Blake and Jessica, right? >> Correct. >> Probably through SNL? >> I think maybe through the SNL talent department and maybe through IDPR, which was and Molly and Carrie are our PR people, maybe. >> Was this before or after Blake Lively had hosted and done Potato Chip and all that stuff? >> This was after.
(1:01:56) >> So, I think probably that was that made that a much easier call and >> It wasn't after Potato Chip, but we did the Not a Great Show with them. She like we did the the day >> Was she in the one with the James Franco one that we buzzed by? But she wasn't the host. >> My tiny little ghost weiner. >> Did she Yeah, did she come as just a as a favor? >> Yes.
(1:02:17) Yeah, but that's like that all happened before. Not Potato Chip was after. >> No, no, no. Potato Chip was >> a year earlier. Was it? >> Yeah, Potato Chip was '09, which she hosted. >> I just want to point out that Yorm just said the the Murray Hill one was my tiny little ghost weiner. I don't know why the word ghost got put in there, but it made me immediately like it more.
(1:02:34) >> Yeah. >> I know. You know what? It's in my [laughter] mind, it's always been better. >> Ghost weiner and it's not >> an improvement. >> Yeah. >> The um I do believe and Yorm, you can correct me if I'm wrong, that when we met her, specifically to you though, I think, she was talking about that her and her brothers and sisters or or siblings, I don't know that she has brothers and sisters.
(1:02:55) >> Uh >> Her brother. >> that they really like Just Two Guys. Is that correct? >> Yes, I believe it's her brother that was >> And and as we've said on this pod, the short way to get into our hearts is to tell us that you I mean, Andy married the first lady that called him Steve the [ __ ] and that's the quickest way to to have us love you is that [laughter] and I think she had said that and that's why we knew.
(1:03:15) >> And I think I still have her brother's info. >> Call him right now. >> In my phone. speaker. >> Put him on speaker. >> So, Yorm, I think with Blake Lively, you just direct texted either her or her brother being like, "Hey, we're shooting a short. Would you come over and do it?" >> Yes, that's right.
(1:03:28) It was >> It was not through any reps. It was because of that. >> See, this is why you got to trade numbers with everybody, you guys. >> That's why you need 3,000 contacts. She came to us off the set of Gossip Girl. So, she was even already in hair and makeup. I remember that. >> Oh, wow. >> And just came straight to us and was so cool about it.
(1:03:45) >> Delight. >> And was a delight. She was super fun. >> Understood exactly why everything was funny and and did it. And Alba as well, obviously. >> Obviously. >> Yeah, well, Alba though, we had never met. It was just a shot in the dark, I think, of like, who could we get? Who would be amazing? And we just Maybe we got a list of people that were at least in New York City.
(1:04:02) >> Yeah. >> Maybe. >> And I remember Alba being like juiced that she was like, "Wait, I'm not with Andy? This is even better." >> [laughter] >> I I want to be with the guy who's the writer on the show. >> Yo, a banger's a banger, Yorm. She was super game. And she was a joy. And obviously, you can just see from her performance that she did it awesome.
(1:04:25) But also, it was crazy that we got both of them in this. And nobody else in LA even knows. And then we just bust out a video on Saturday night and all of a sudden has these guests and all this stuff. It was rad. >> It also just speaks to how how much attention the shorts were getting in that moment.
(1:04:42) That not only would they want to do it, but that everyone around them would be like, "Yeah, you should." >> [laughter] >> Right. Right. >> It's pretty cool. >> It was a Christmas gift to all of us, you guys. >> Aw, thanks for putting it exactly that way, Seth. >> Yeah. And also the fact that none of us had to go outside to watch it. I'm [laughter] trying to remember what Brian Tucker said, but he came into the edit the way people always did, the way we talk about, well, cuz we were just in that hallway.
(1:05:04) And he watched maybe the first 30 seconds that I when we were editing it, but we were only 30 seconds. Yorm, maybe you were there, but for some reason it sticks out to me because we hadn't done something like this all year. When he saw it, there was some really nice way he kind of basically said, "There they are. Oh, shit." [laughter] Like as if it was reoccurring characters that hadn't appeared in a while and here they were again.
(1:05:25) >> [laughter] >> I don't think I was there for that particular moment. >> I like Tucker's sort of reoccurring role on this podcast as being the arbiter of when you guys have hit your peak. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Truly. >> Because very true like I would feel the same way when Tucker paid me a compliment on something I did.
(1:05:41) >> He never gave them away cheaply. >> Yeah, correct. But when he gave them away, they were they were enthusiastic. >> the exact thing we were hoping people would say of like >> Right. >> Oh, I like this last one. >> from a deeply cynical person is more meaningful. >> Yeah. >> And afterwards, I remember this was the one where Lauren between dressing there said, "Give me some of that weed.
(1:06:00) " >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Yeah, what that [ __ ] you be smoking? Give it to all the writers. >> It must be that bubonic chronic. >> to cow? >> [laughter] >> Y'all must have been. >> What's that kush? Give me that kush out. Pass it around. Don't hog it. Why y'all bull guarding up in that weird hallway? [laughter] Give it to the others.
(1:06:19) >> Y'all blowing bomb bud? This popcorn taste like [ __ ] [ __ ] [laughter] It's too chewy. I want to get blunted, my brother. >> [laughter] >> YOU DON'T THINK I HAVE five on it? >> Remember how he would never he would he wouldn't stop saying right when he was stoned? He'd be like, "Right, right, right, right, right.
(1:06:39) " >> [laughter] >> By the way, our Lauren impression just dipped off hard. I feel like it was better last week. >> It was more winding. >> Yeah, yeah. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. It's good, but it doesn't work with the weed thing. It doesn't work. >> want to get the good weed. >> department keeps giving me the bad weed.
(1:06:58) [laughter] IT'S ALL SEEDS AND STICKS. >> OH, can you smoke IT ALL BEFORE I GET HERE? NO STEMS, NO SEEDS, NO STICKS. >> I KNOW, I WANTED THE STICKY ICKY. YEAH, [laughter] it's the California boys. >> No stems. The Californians actually came from cuz he kept being like, "Bring me the Californians." And he thought he meant us. >> [laughter] >> Oh my god.
(1:07:21) >> I CALLED GREEN RIP. >> [laughter] >> OKAY. >> UM all right, so Quade Army, we are going to make this a two-parter. It is we've established the biggest short of all time and we have had a lovely preamble to it. So, before we get to the end of this episode, Jack Black, take it away. >> [laughter] [music] >> I quibbed clean.
(1:07:53) >> Yeah. >> Congratulations. >> And >> Got you. >> Not only did I quib it clean. I quibbed clean six days in a row. Is that right, Seth? >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> I have had one hint in the last eight days or something. >> It's unbelievable. >> I'm on an absolute [ __ ] tear, Yorm, and you love it. >> This sucks for me to hear because I I stopped at nice today.
(1:08:14) >> [laughter] >> But >> When Yorm gets nice, should we hear Borat go, "Nice." >> [laughter] >> Yes, please put that in. >> Okay, Yorm, you want to hit us with? Yorm, what did you get? >> I got nice today. >> Wow, wow, woo. It's a very nice. >> When we have Sam as our skion, which is going to happen, I would love >> maybe for April Fools' Day that when you get the first one, you hit high Yorm is the level.
(1:08:40) >> No. >> It just says, "High Yorm." >> [laughter] >> And that's when you get one, the first one. >> I see. >> Uh Andy, somebody wrote this is like a challenge to you, but I feel like you kind of already do it. Can I just read it real quick? Yes, please. >> Um I have a a challenge for Andy. Achieve the level of Queen Bee by getting all the pangrams first.
(1:08:57) I feel like you do that. >> Every day. >> Yeah. >> Not every pangram first. I always start if I don't get a pangram first, I don't even start. >> Right. Okay. And then no hints, which you already do. And then they said, "Here's the kicker, no shuffle." But I feel like you don't need the shuffle. >> No, I always end up using shuffle by the end.
(1:09:14) >> Got it. Interesting. >> You have to use shuffle. That's just a crazy challenge. >> Okay. All right, I need to use Just to like shake your head up. >> Shuffle Yeah, exactly. It just reveals things to you that are so obvious, but because of the order of the letters, you get into like a a repetitive rut about how to make the word.
(1:09:28) >> like don't do that, and that's probably why we haven't been quibbling with this. >> well, by all means, start using shuffle. Let's see what you got. >> Okay. I didn't even know shuffle existed. >> Okay. Well, then you're really bad [laughter] at the game. >> By the way, Yorm, I said Andy the other day, because again, I feel I'm very good at this.
(1:09:45) I'm just not a savant like Andy. I got genius clean, no hints. And I told Andy that, and he just wrote back, "You a Yorm." >> [laughter] >> [ __ ] that's a good diss. Just like I'm so proud of myself. He's like, "You're still just >> You a Yorm, bro. >> You a Yorm. >> Yeah. >> I don't mind that. I don't mind that. Dude, but I buy [ __ ] K trucks and [ __ ] super mounts, so you know my steez.
(1:10:09) >> banger, and now I can't stop coughing. >> [laughter] >> Hey, I know the next one, but stop shaking my van. >> [laughter] >> I feel all twitchy. >> WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. >> THERE'S KIDS IN HERE. >> I'M HAPPY for you guys. Stop shaking it. >> WYLIE, LET THEM SEE YOUR FACE. LET THEM SEE YOUR FACE. >> [laughter] >> THEY WON'T HURT THE KIDS.
(1:10:33) >> SQUISH YOUR face up against THE TINTED GLASS. >> WYLIE, SHOW THEM YOUR FACE. >> [laughter] >> YOU GUYS, I GOT TO GO. >> All right. Next week, part two. >> Part two. >> Love you guys. >> guys. >> Love you. >> Later, Arnold. >> Later, Quades. >> Later, Ghostface. >> Later, Quades. >> Later, Jack. >> Later, Quades. >> Later, Jack doing Arnold.
(1:10:53) >> Later, Quades. >> Later, O'Brien. >> Oh, so you do remember my name.